If you’re rich like Sunak and Macron, why would want people calling you an idiot all day?

Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column.

In a previous life, your writer worked for the Post Office in the U.K. and had the keys to a vault that contained around £150 million*.

To put that into perspective, that’s roughly the kind of money that Rishi Sunak might find down the back of the sofa.

Sunak is mind-blowingly rich. The Sunday Times rich list had the personal fortune of Sunak and his wife, Akshata Murty, at an estimated £651m.

Emmanuel Macron is not in the same league when it comes to cash but by any normal measure, the French president is still exceedingly wealthy (former investment bankers for Rothschild tend to be able to afford the pricier sandwiches at lunch).

Now, there’s nothing stopping the very rich from being successful in politics. But the bigger question is: why would you put up with all the abuse and brickbats if you didn’t need to?

Macron’s decision to make the EU election interesting by calling a snap parliamentary ballot smack bang in the middle of Europe’s big night has led to massive amounts of abuse being hurled his way. Sunak, meanwhile, has been the subject of almost constant mocking since he began an election campaign so bad that he must be trying to boost his wealth by having placed a bet on how many seats the Conservatives will win — with that number being less than 10.

Perhaps the thinking is that no matter the difficulties of governing, once you leave office and a certain amount of time has passed, people look back on you at least somewhat fondly. Remember George W. Bush? No one that dumb will ever be U.S. president again, we collectively said. Then Donald Trump came along and made Dubya look like Stephen Hawking.

And there’s Tony Blair. Loved, then hated, by many in the U.K. but still a hero in Kosovo thanks to the role he played in the country’s liberation. This week, Blair was in the country and met five men named Tonibler in his honor. For many, meeting people named after you might be a touch awkward but Blair has an ego the size of the Balkans, so he was probably delighted.

Give it 10 years and we can look forward to school playgrounds full of Manucrons and Risunaks.

*If you are thinking of kidnapping me to get access to this cash, you’re out of luck as the place has closed. Also, it’s written into my contract that POLITICO will pay a maximum of €2.50 to any kidnappers to secure my release.

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Can you do better? Email pdallison@politico.eu or on Twitter/X @pdallisonesque

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“And to mark my imminent alliance with the far right, I hereby rename the Black Forest the All-White Wood,” by Tom Morgan.

Paul Dallison is POLITICO’s deputy EU editor.