PMQs scorecard: No Tory defection — but Labour MPs are living their best life

Prime minister’s questions: a shouty, jeery, very occasionally useful advert for British politics. Here’s what you need to know from the latest session in POLITICO’s weekly run-through.

Tumbleweed: Rumors about another defection from the Conservatives to Labour — to time with PMQs like Natalie Elphicke’s shock ship-jumping last week — did not bear out in the end. That’s despite frayed Tory nerves heading into this week’s knockabout between Rishi Sunak and Keir Starmer.

Having fun anyway: Labour MPs mocked Tory MPs wandering into the chamber for PMQs with ironic jeers as they watched for any floor crossings.

What they sparred about instead: Law and order, plus Sunak and Starmer’s favorite word — security, of the domestic and international kind. The Labour leader — via some jibes about the government’s new, er, “war on colorful lanyards” — pressed the PM on the government’s scheme to free jailbirds up to 70 days early due to ballooning prison populations.

Starmer wanted to build a case … that despite the Conservatives’ tough talk on law and order, the government could put public safety at risk by letting out potentially dangerous criminals early — and that therefore Labour are the better bet on security. Sunak said no one will be put on the scheme if they are considered a risk to the public, but Starmer pointed to a report on a Lewes prison that suggests the opposite.

Meanwhile Sunak wanted to argue … that Starmer “can’t be trusted to keep this country safe” — a theme that dominated his big Monday speech on international security. The pair sparred over who’s more committed to increasing defense spending (answer: both are, but the opposition’s commitment is more vague and based on financial circumstances than Sunak’s one.)

SNP Westminster boss Stephen Flynn asked for an apology from Sunak for sort-of comparing Scottish nationalists to Vladimir Putin. | Robert Perry/EFE via EPA

Basically: It was yet another opportunity for the pair to set out their dividing lines ahead of the election, expected by the end of the year. It’s gonna be a long ole’ campaign.

‘Best’ of the sub-par jibes: “Doesn’t he think that rather than confiscating lanyards like some jumped-up milk monitor,he should stop issuing ‘get out of jail free’ cards to prisoners considered a risk to children?” Starmer asked. In response to being called a “tech bro” by the Labour leader, Sunak’s main prepped jibe was to say that, if Starmer was around during the industrial revolution, he would have called train forerunner James Watt the “steam bro.” U Watt, m8?

Nice try: SNP Westminster boss Stephen Flynn asked for an apology from Sunak for sort-of comparing Scottish nationalists to Vladimir Putin in his Monday speech. Sorry not sorry, was Sunak’s response, pretty much.

Looming in the background: Two different Labour backbenchers — Richard Burgon and Rosena Allin-Khan — pressed Sunak on Israel’s assault on Gaza, asking why British arms sales continue and whether the U.K. is letting Israel get away with breaking international law. Sunak reiterated Britain’s support for Israel’s right to self-defense, but the issue continues to exercise many MPs — despite Britain’s leaders trying to talk about literally anything else.

Totally non-scientific scores on the doors: Starmer’s focus on crime and justice was a sensible dividing line to push with Britain’s prisons at breaking point under the current government. But Sunak’s team will be happy enough with the platform he got to repeat his attack lines from Monday’s speech.

Sunak 6/10 … Starmer 7/10 … Defections: 0.