POLITICO’s 2023 Backhanded Awards

10 months ago 4

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Best performance by a German pretending to be president of Europe.

Winner: Ursula von der Leyen

Poor Ursula von der Leyen.

Try as she might not just to project power, but to wield it, the European Commission president runs into a brick wall.

Whenever a juicy foreign policy crisis hits, Josep Borrell tries to butt in and hog it. In October, she discovered she couldn’t even hoist the Israeli flag at the Berlaymont without half the EU27 getting on her case. And then there’s the hated “le Belge,” a.k.a. European Council President Charles Michel, who has the gall to act like he’s the president of Europe. A visit to the White House in October should have been von der Leyen’s moment in the sun. She’s America’s favorite, after all. But then Michel had to tag along (at least he didn’t wear that weird turtleneck).

And what’s up with the media? Constantly trying to get their grubby hands on the texts she sent to Pfizer’s CEO while negotiating for vaccines during the pandemic. What they really want is to sully her crowning achievement: the monumental procurement of millions of shots that saved the EU from succumbing to the pandemic. No one’s trying to get Viktor Orbán’s texts! Life as the Commission president is so unfair.

Best Russian playing a Russian

Winner: Vladimir Putin

No one knows how to play Europe like Vladimir Putin.

Just when you think you’ve kept him from kicking in the front door (Germany) he already entered through the back (Bulgaria). Sure, the sanctions are a big nuisance, but with a little help from his European friends, the economy is still whirring — by Putin’s own account, at a growth rate of 3 percent in 2023.

The war on Ukraine has been a disaster for the Russian president, and yet ever more European leaders, if Giorgia Meloni can be believed, are looking for “a way out.” With a network of business and political allies from Bulgaria to Hungary to Austria and beyond, Putin knows time is on his side.

The ‘Lives of Others’ spying award

Winner: Kyriakos Mitsotakis

Not many leaders could survive revelations that their government’s secret service tried to spy on the opposition and journalists. But Greek Prime Minister Kyriakos Mitsotakis is not just any politician.

The scion of a Cretan political dynasty, the Harvard-educated Mitsotakis, leader of Greece’s conservative New Democracy party, not only managed to pour water on the scandal, known as “Predatorgate” — he won reelection in the process, claiming innocence.

The Predator spy software that gave the affair its name puts a victim’s mobile phone at the mercy of its attackers, giving them full access to the device. It’s not the type of application one can buy in the App Store. Just how Predator ended up on nearly 100 devices in Greece, most belonging to high-ranking government officials, businesspeople and journalists, remains a mystery that may never be solved.

Last month, Greek authorities launched a criminal inquiry into board members of the independent watchdog charged with investigating the Predator affair, alleging that officials there leaked classified information.

Borat award for diplomacy

Winner: Josep Borrell

If there’s one thing Europeans have been able to count on from Josep Borrell since he became the EU’s foreign policy czar in late 2019, it’s that he never misses an opportunity to put his foot in his mouth.

His praise for Ecuador’s “peaceful” presidential election after one of the candidates was assassinated and his promise to send fighter jets to Kyiv after Russia’s full-scale assault on Ukraine are the stuff of legend. As his term slowly winds to an end, Borrell seems to be bent on offering Europeans daily reminders of his diplomatic ineptitude.

Ever since Hamas’ barbaric October 7 massacre of Israeli civilians, he has focused more on chiding Israel — “one horror doesn’t justify another”— than expressing support for its efforts to root out terrorists. At least he’s consistent.

“Iran wants to wipe out Israel? Nothing new about that,” Borrell told POLITICO in 2019 when he was still Spanish foreign minister. “You have to live with it.”

The Greta Thunberg ‘How dare you!’ award

Winner: Greta Thunberg

Four years later, Thunberg, 20, has entered the adult world herself. And she’s still on the warpath, albeit in a different direction. In the wake of the most barbaric attacks on Jews since the Holocaust, the world’s most famous truant has turned her sights on Israel. Not only has she been a regular at recent anti-Israel protests across Europe, but Thunberg has also endorsed the view that Israel’s military response to the killing of its citizens amounts to “genocide.” The truculent Swede’s anti-Israel turn is dividing “Fridays For Future” and alienating many of her one-time supporters, leaving the future of the movement in question.

Who could forget the youthful Greta’s impassioned “how dare you!” speech to the adult world at a United Nations climate meeting in 2019 (or then-U.S. President Donald Trump’s friendly advice to the young activist: “Chill Greta, chill!”). Four years later, Thunberg, 20, has entered the adult world herself. And she’s still on the warpath, albeit in a different direction. In the wake of the most barbaric attacks on Jews since the Holocaust, the world’s most famous truant has turned her sights on Israel. Not only has she been a regular at recent anti-Israel protests across Europe, but Thunberg has also endorsed the view that Israel’s military response to the killing of its citizens amounts to “genocide.” The truculent Swede’s anti-Israel turn is dividing Fridays For Future and alienating many of her one-time supporters, leaving the future of the movement in question.

Best hobbit playing a fascist

Winner: Giorgia Meloni

As a teenager in Rome, Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni liked to dress up with other right-wing activists as characters in J. R. R. Tolkien’s “Lord of the Rings.”

A foundational text for a generation of young neo-fascists, Tolkien’s nativist legend was catnip to Meloni’s own blood and soil yearnings.

Luckily for Europe, Meloni’s fascist fantasies have turned out to be no more serious than her youthful desire to challenge Sauron. Despite a near doubling in the number of asylum seekers arriving in Italy this year, Meloni’s “crackdown” entails the same kinds of measures under discussion elsewhere in Europe, such as lengthening detention times for irregular immigrants.

Meanwhile, she has maintained Italy’s commitments to both the EU and NATO and has even, however reluctantly, continued to support Ukraine. All the while, her right-wing Brothers of Italy party has held on to its substantial lead in the polls. Frodo would be proud.

Read the POLITICO 28 class of 2024 here.

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