You can blame Brexit for everything now

Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column.

Older readers may remember a little thing called Brexit, in which the United Kingdom decided to leave the European Union.

And you can see why it happened. The vote may have been in 2016, when gin enthusiast Jean-Claude Juncker was running the European Commission. But by the time the U.K. officially said goodbye to the EU, the Commission was helmed by Ursula von der Leyen, an unelected German.

And if there’s one thing Brits will never accept, it’s being ruled over by an unelected German.

On an unrelated note, this week saw the first anniversary of unelected German Charles III becoming king.

Back to Brexit, and no one talks about it anymore. Only joking, everyone talks about it. And in the same way that the EU was a convenient scapegoat in the past for Brits, now Brexit can be used as the bad guy when apportioning blame for pretty much anything.

This week, for example, the singer Rufus Wainwright blamed the fact that his musical “Opening Night” had to close early because of mixed reviews and audience antipathy to Brexit (a review in The New Statesman described it as “confusing” and “unloveable,” which coincidentally is how this column is described within POLITICO Towers).

“I do feel that since Brexit, England has entered into a darker corridor where it is a little more narrow in its outlook,” Wainwright told The Guardian. He added that there was “a lack of imagination and curiosity about change” in the U.K. and that “the staging and the rhythm” of his production was “more European.” Alas, I haven’t seen “Opening Night” so cannot say for sure what “more European” means in this case. Perhaps the theater hosting the musical charged people to go for a piss.

Also, the musical was staged in London, where this past week more people voted for a man with a bin on his head than for the far-right Britain First candidate in the mayoral election. It’s not exactly Brexit Central.

Speaking of things that older readers might remember, Germany’s Christian Democratic Union used to be very popular when Angela Merkel was around. Now in opposition, party leader Friedrich Merz said Berlin and Brussels should share some of the blame for Brexit because the U.K. was not offered enough concessions.

What’s the German for the old English expression “no shit, Sherlock”?

CAPTION COMPETITION

“Liz Truss’ book! You really shouldn’t have.”

Can you do better? Email pdallison@politico.eu or on Twitter/X @pdallisonesque

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“Are you sure they really have a 4th Place ‘Pewter’ medal for us to share?” By Fred Myers

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Paul Dallison is POLITICO’s deputy EU editor.